As summer marches on and you have a little more time with your husband and children, let me encourage you to make this the most memorable summer you can. I suggest that as much as possible you try to anti-stress your home so you can enjoy these summer months. The following has helped me, so I pray that it might be a blessing to you as well.
Let your husband be the leader. No home can have two heads.
God would not command the man to be the leader without giving him the ability. With God’s help and yours, your husband can be the leader God intended him to be. If you have willingly or unwillingly assumed the role of leadership in your home, you can begin to ease out of it by gradually transferring to your husband the responsibilities he will most easily accept. When you begin telling the children “to go ask Daddy, he is the head of our home,” they may be as shocked as their father, but this is a good way to start. When your display of confidence in his leadership convinces him that his leadership is a permanent arrangement, not a temporary “whim” of yours, he should begin to respond positively.
Be the spirit-filled Christian wife you should be.
The most important thing in the life of any Christian is to be filled with the Holy Spirit. The Lord Jesus said, “for without me ye can do nothing.” If we are not filled with the Holy Spirit we are unproductive. I have a beautiful, relatively expensive, blow dryer at home, which I purchased because I have thick hair and it takes me a long time to dry it. That blow dryer, as good as it is, and as much as I need it, does not do me a lick of good unless I plug it into the electrical outlet. Then and only then can that blow dryer do what it is supposed to do. Our power source is the Holy Spirit! We need to “plug in“ on a daily basis. For some of us, it may even be hourly!
Be totally organized.
Nothing creates chaos more than a disorganized person. You have probably met her; she’s always late, she doesn’t know what she’s having for dinner, her laundry is all backed up or what is done is lying around the house in piles to be folded, ironing is never caught up, and her household is a total fiasco! If this is you and you can’t get it “together” on your own, don’t be so full of pride that you cannot ask someone to help you.
Stay home much of the time. You can’t get things done if you are always out running around.
Have chores for your children and see to it that they complete them. Teach them how to do a task before you expect them to do it the way you would have it done. They are learning.
Do not allow your children to be lazy. Lazy children will make lazy mates.
Life is a gift from God. A healthy step in recovering from stress is learning to recognize and capitalize on the quotient of fun that God has given to each of us. We do not serve a God who is opposed to fun. Have fun as a family: take bike rides, have popcorn and game nights, attend fun events together, and spend time walking and talking. Communicating with your children is vitally important. Running your children back and forth to the church all the time is NOT spending time with them.
What we do springs from what we remember. In our mind’s eye, we clearly see how to solve our problems and whether we want to or not, we draw from the rich memories of childhood. Some adults can bring up a bucket from the memory well that is empty while others draw from one that is refreshing. As parents, we need to establish goals for what we want our children to remember. In doing so, we should keep in mind that our children will remember us not only for the things we plan but also for our unplanned reactions—the temper, flare-ups, discouragements, pouting, and so forth. All of these form the background for our children’s memories. The bright, hopeful side to all this is that our children will remember that we had problems but, primarily they will recall how we worked on solving them.
Practice saying, “NO!”
You do not have to do everything yourself whether it be at church or at home. It is not spiritual to spend all of your time doing church things while your home suffers. When we have spent time prayerfully developing proper goals, we become much better prepared to say no to plans and desires that don’t live up to the dreams and desires for our family. This, however, does not give you an excuse to do NOTHING for the cause or work of Christ.
The need to be needed is the enemy that we often allow to creep into our schedule. Learn to defeat this enemy and you will reduce a fair amount of stress in your life.
Create a pleasant atmosphere.
Remember that Mom creates the atmosphere in the home. When you get up in the morning, put the coffee on, light a candle, turn on some good Christian or classical music, and make your home a place of comfort and release for your family.
I pray that you will have a great summer with your family! Remember it will be what you make it. Make it the best!!
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Born into a pastor’s home in Rockford, Illinois, Cindie (Swanson) Trieber has been in or around the Gospel ministry her entire life. She was married to Jack Trieber in 1972. For over 45 years of ministry, Mrs. Trieber has served in almost every capacity imaginable. Currently, the Triebers have three children and thirteen grandchildren.