My husband and I are blessed with four wonderful children. They range in age from 6 to 14. We have always heard that no two kids are the same, but until we became parents to more than one child, we truly didn’t understand that concept. Of course, no two are the same, but how much more real that became as we had children of our own. All four of our kids are so different. They all have different tastes in food, style, activities, and much more. If we were to ask our children where we should go out to eat, we would get four different suggestions. But that’s what makes it exciting! I love how they each have their own personalities and preferences. If all four of my children were exactly the same, it might make my job as a parent easier, but it would be a lot more boring for sure.

 Here are a few things that I try to remember as I deal with my children:

1. Let your children be who they are. Now, I’m not saying to excuse naughty behavior because that is just who they are, but let them be free to have different interests.  One of my children really enjoys drawing, and one of them does not. It wouldn’t be fair for me to force my child who has no interest in drawing to be just like his sibling in that area.

2. Don’t compare your children to each other. Nobody likes to be compared to other people, especially when it is in a negative way toward them. If one of your children excels in school while the other struggles, don’t make that an added pressure to your child who struggles. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t encourage them to do their best and strive to do better or get them extra help when needed, but don’t compare them and make them feel like they are a disappointment to you in that area.

3. Take time to focus on each of their strengths. Help them excel in different areas that they enjoy. Maybe one of your children has a natural ear for music, or one of them enjoys experimenting in the kitchen. Work with them to develop their different interests and help them succeed.

4. Always be consistent! While we may discipline a child differently from another or handle a situation with a particular child differently than we would another, always be consistent and fair when dealing with them.

What a privilege it is to be called a parent! Let’s thank the Lord for this opportunity and strive in every area to help our children grow into the person God would have them to be.

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Tabitha Fanara

Tabitha Fanara, Christian School Staff

Tabitha (Trieber) Fanara has worked alongside her husband, principal of NVBS,  for nearly 15 years. She grew up at North Valley as a pastor’s kid and has seen ministry from all sides. The Fanaras have four wonderful children. Mrs. Fanara also oversees the nursery department at NVBC.Â